Yotogi Revised
by Sailor Ronin Usa-chan
Summary: Hiiro is a guardian angel sent to watch over Usagi as she lives her life. Once she dies however he realizes his mission isn't quite yet completed. He and his fellow pilots are the only ones capable of freeing the senshi from a cycle of 'destiny'


_Author Notes: Praise goes to my ultra beta 'Eternal Moon Princess' she's also a really sweet imouto and she did an incredible job o.O_

_This is ANOTHER revision of one of my stories... Now this one will still follow most of the same plot but I'm going to flesh out the scenes more. I may or may not keep the 'gotta pair them all' mentality involving the senshi... I guess as I write the story I'll figure it out. For those of you waiting for an update on the revised GaR, don't worry about it. I'm almost done with the next chapter and after that I'll try working on the next chapter of this. Basically my main focus will be on these two stories and my SM only story 'Second Impressions' unless I get really inspired for another story anyway... Enjoy and if you find the time drop me a line and tell me what you think of the revisions, ne?_

* * *

Sparks of white bright light apparently trapped in a black net seemed to mock him from their place in the heavens. His mind was blurry and fuzzy. While he could remember a few events of his life, missions that he undertook and flashes of those who were his companions, specific details and most memories beyond his teens were lost to him. He couldn't remember much, only that he shouldn't be able to see those twinkling stars in the dark night. "What happened?"

"You died." The voice was somewhere to his side, but he couldn't get the strength to turn his head towards it, and it continued without prompting. "Hiiro Yui... you're not in heaven nor hell... you are somewhere in-between. For the list of your crimes, a place for you could not be decided even after great debate. So in order to determine where you belong, we have agreed to give you a mission to prove yourself."

"Mission?" The words seemed to heat his blood, and with a little effort, he forced himself to sit up with only a soft groan. "What happened? How did I die? I don't remember..." He finally was able to see the person talking and he studied her for a long moment. A crown of golden-red curls spilled down her back and hid most of her face from view, though he could tell she had amber-colored eyes.

"You're not allowed to know how or when you died... the body you came to us in is the one you've identified the most with, the one you have the strongest memories of. You may have died at that age, or you may not have died until you were old and gray. Memories would interfere with this mission, so you'll keep what you have, which I know isn't much." She brushed a strand of hair out of her eyes and studied him, her face not betraying any emotions. "Will you accept?"

Hiiro brushed a hand through his hair and tried to force his foggy mind to focus. Something wasn't quite right about all of this. His first instincts were to accept the mission-- he had a feeling he usually did such things-- but something was holding him back. Maybe a lesson learned in his former life? "What's this about? What will I have to do?"

A faint frown creased the woman's lips. She had been under the impression that he would jump at the chance to go on a mission, no matter what it entailed. She regained her senses quickly, though, and seemed to summon a book out of thin air with a snap of her fingers. "Her name is Tsukino Usagi, and your mission would be to watch over her for now. In the future, you'll likely get updates on what to do, but for now she only needs someone to ensure that she doesn't try to run away from what she must do. You are not to reveal yourself at any time, and if she dies or flees from the tasks that are given to her, you'll be cast into the deepest fires of hell. If you succeed, your soul will be cleansed and you'll ascend to heaven."

Hiiro studied the image of the young blonde for a moment and frowned. "How does babysitting determine my fate?" he softly demanded as he kept his usual solid control over any emotion that dared to seep out. "What's so important about this girl, and why was I chosen to do this?"

She looked contemplative for a long moment, as if she was unsure of how much she should say. "She's not a normal teenager... her destiny is to save Earth, and I'm afraid she'll have to die to do so, as you once almost did. Beyond that, I will not speak a word unless you make your decision."

He wanted to know more about this case, but he found the words spilling from his mouth before he could stop them. "Mission accepted." As the words faded from his lips he felt an unbearable pain, and his fists clenched as he struggled to keep his agonized screams in. Had he been tricked? But no, the pain was fading rapidly, and he felt... different, somehow. "What did you do?"

"Look for yourself. I am sorry it hurt as much as it did... It seems to go easier on those that don't carry guilt and regret, as you seem to do. The changes are permanent... they will remain with you forever unless you fail in your task, and in that case they will be scourged off of you by black flames."

A shiver ran through him and he was startled to feel it. Such simple actions he usually suppressed. Slowly he turned on his heel to see what the woman was gesturing at and studied the young man in the mirror. Somehow he had expected himself to look older... Perhaps it was the white toga-like clothes, or the gentle expression that had instantly graced his features, or maybe even the white wings that arched from his back that seemed to have a golden glint to them, but he felt and looked younger. Back when he was fourteen and running the most important missions of his life, though he could only dimly recall them at the moment... It hit him like a ton of bricks. "Wings?" he whispered as he turned to verify if they really were there. "Why do I have wings?"

"Did I forget to mention that tiny fact?" She didn't even have the grace to look embarrassed at her supposed slip-up. "In order to guard Usagi, you'll be her guardian angel, her shugotenshi." With a faint motion of her hand an opaque portal had appeared beside her, a sharp contrast to the black sky and bright stars.

It seemed to open up on a girl who was peacefully sleeping. She didn't look older than eight or so, and she was sucking her thumb as she cuddled a plush bunny rabbit in one hand. Despite his usual resolve, Hiiro felt a part of him melt at the sight. "You didn't mention that... and why are my feelings screwed up?" She must have done something else to him as well...

"Feelings?" She paused to consider this, her expression a thoughtful one. "Ah, I believe it's the fact that in order to fulfill your duties as a shugotenshi, all of your evil was purged away and you are clean. Any barriers or blocks you erected to hold back emotion should be demolished-- though, if they were very strong, a few might remain. Now, I have other matters to attend to; step through the doorway and go meet your charge."

Hiiro felt his expression fade away as his eyes hardened in a glare. Somehow, he would get his revenge against her later. She was right, it was due time he met the person he was going to be in charge of until the day she died. Without glancing back at the other angel, he strode through the portal and felt it pop out of existence as he left it.

* * *

It has taken me many years to adjust to everything that has happened to me. You would think that keeping watch over a single girl would be simple. Not to mention the swell of emotions that seem to have been unlocked by that so-called angel, I guess I should explain that further. My charge, Tsukino Usagi, well... I've fallen in love with her. That might seem unbelievable, and I can understand that thought, but step by step, she has managed to find her way into my once cold heart. Was she the one that warmed it? I'm not sure anymore... all I know now is that she has a place there.

I have watched over that girl since she was eight. I didn't know at the time that it would take six years before even a glimmer of my real mission was presented. I watched her grow and yet still retain her faults. Immature, lazy, selfish about certain things, and I always wondered if her terrible grades were from pure ignorance. But that was before her real life started, back when she was a simple kid turning into a teenager. But for all her faults, she had a really big heart. I've watched her put herself in a lot of danger helping stray animals and talking to strange men and women when they asked for help. Was I scared that something would happen to her from those events? Of course, she was my charge, but she was lucky because no one wanted to hurt her.

I have to admit something. As those years passed by from the time I got my assignment until the start of anything that really acquired my attention, I began to forget why I was there. My time and attention were consumed by watching the little rabbit take on the world. I admit her name always makes me smile; who's ever heard of a carrot-hating rabbit? But aside from that, the name fits her perfectly sometimes. The only name that could have been better would have been Koneko.

I was the only one around when she felt sad about leaving her home. You see, her father had gotten a job transfer and she was moving to a new town. A new school and new friends-- she was really upset over leaving everything she knew, but she also felt guilty for being upset in the first place. She was an enigma to me. I think I was almost as anxious as she the first day she attended her new school. All I could do was hope and pray that everyone else would take to her as I had slowly come to. I was like a proud relative as she quickly made friends and smiled in joy.

I should have realized what was going to happen. Why didn't I notice anything? Was I too wrapped up in watching her enjoy life? Was I too distracted by her simple joys and pleasures that I just didn't wake up in time? I even read the reports on Sailor V before Usagi found out who she was... why didn't I put two and two together? I failed a part of my mission and didn't realize it until it was too late. You might ask how I was supposed to know the importance of one sailor suited heroine, and you'd be right to ask that... I guess it's more that if I had understood the significance of all of that I could have saved her. I regret not stopping it before it went too far.

A mere few weeks after the move, Usagi was running to school one day and stumbled upon a group of kids picking on a cat. The cat seemed normal enough, but I should have known... even Usagi realized there was something odd about the cat besides the fact that it could recognize an insult. But I just didn't see it. The wool wasn't ripped from my eyes until that stupid cat came back and gave Usagi a locket. A locket that sealed Usagi's destiny, a mere trinket that ruined whatever normal life she could have had; you see, by that point I wanted her to be happy. I wanted her to grow old one day with someone she loved. I didn't love her to the same extent I do now, but I still cared about her deeply. How could you not grow to care about someone after watching over them for six years?

Her first battle hurt me. When I saw her get hurt from that broken bottle, I wanted to step in and stop it all. She wasn't meant to be a fighter. Though she calls herself a soldier, she should never have to see what I saw in my life, what I remember from my life. She shouldn't have to be subjected to watching something else die by your own hand. I, more than anyone, know what that can do to a soul. As the fighting continued and she was rescued by the strange masked man, I realized that this was the job I was meant to keep her from running from. This was the reason I had been assigned to her.

As time went by and she proved she could fight on her own, never was I more proud than when she battled a youma without help from anyone else. It's almost a shame that not long after that more soldiers appeared. More young women ripped from the fabric of their normal lives and enlisted in a war against the Dark Kingdom. I saw those from my memories, comrades if those memories are to be believed, when I saw the girl warriors... why weren't they given the chance to ascend to heaven? If anyone was good and pure, it would have been the blonde, and yet even he was forced to watch after one of the girls.

These other girls didn't always treat Usagi the best. They were never intentionally cruel to her, but they managed to hurt her more than once, and more than one has made it to my 'list.' I was forced to stand by and watch as whatever independence and pride in her work she had was squashed by her teammates. They didn't do it on purpose, but with them and that Tuxedo Kamen around, she learned dependence on others. Instead of fighting bravely, she began to depend on everyone else to weaken the youma for her.

When the truth was revealed that in a past life she was a princess... I was shocked. It's strange to say that, considering that from what I remembered of my life, I was like an icy statue. I never had emotions. And not only was she a princess, but she was from the moon and had her very own prince. Let me say this, I never approved of Endymion for her... perhaps it was jealousy, but I didn't feel the Earth prince really knew Usagi the way I did. Besides, their two civilian identities were nearly enemies, always at odds with each other and never exchanging a kind word. How was I supposed to accept that once their pasts were revealed that they were _destined_ for each other? It didn't make sense. How could she know love when she had never been in love?

One of the hardest things I had to do was see her break down once she found out her prince had been captured by the enemy. Another was watching her prince come back and fight her. He shattered her heart by harboring weak resistance. Wasn't the memory of her enough to undo any brainwashing? It was strange, but as I saw her fight and believe so strongly in her love, I felt an echo of that fierce love run through me. I swear I once saw a strange woman cloaked by shadows I couldn't quite make out. But ever since admitting to myself that I loved Usagi, the shadows and the strange woman have vanished, and I'm okay with that.

I watched with silent rage as time after time Endymion struck my Usagi. At the time I thought it was mere protective instincts because he had betrayed her; I didn't realize it was the beginning of love. You have no idea how many times I wanted to use the full extent of my powers and wipe that man off the face of the planet. I watched as night after night Usagi broke down as soon as that stupid Luna was asleep. She started to question whether her love and will were strong enough, and if she wasn't just a failure after all. I couldn't do anything for her but protect her from eavesdroppers.

Another hard challenge I went through was watching her go off to battle Beryl. I knew there would be causalities; this wasn't a game the girls were playing. And I don't know if the other guys grieved when their charges sacrificed their lives for Usagi one after the other. But once the one that had seemed to somewhat hate her died, Usagi broke down. It was as bad if not worse when Mamoru was taken from her. It was at that moment that I tried to break the rules. When she was sitting there curled into a tight ball I tried to contact her, to comfort her and assure her that she wasn't alone, never alone... But she couldn't hear me. No matter what I did, the barrier wouldn't break. It was as if that cruel angel had built a wall and I would never be able to breach it. When that bubble flew out of nowhere and securely trapped her, I felt my heart sink. She was in trouble, and there was nothing I could do.

I flew after her into the deep bowels of the Dark Kingdom, past youma that numbered in the thousands all hovering in a mass at the fringes of the throne room as Usagi was dumped into the center of it. I was at her side as she watched her love swear loyalty to Queen Beryl. Endymion, who was now the Queen's consort, attacked my Usagi. Attacked her and hurt her. I can't relate my fury when I remember the electricity that danced off the thorn-laden vines that were wrapped around her neck. I can't remember how he attempted to strangle the life out of her without wanting to do the same to him. I want to breathe fire when I envision the scene of him taking his sword to her... But she overcame all of that.

She fought hard in her own way for that man's life. She accepted heap after heap of pain and abuse in an attempt to sway him back to her. It even seemed to work for a moment, but it didn't last, and once again he was out for her blood. With tears stinging her eyes she ended his pain and sent him to a better place. I'm proud to say that when she faced Beryl she hid her agony as she prepared to face the reason her friends had given their lives.

And in the same way that she fought so hard for her love, I fought hard with myself to not interfere. I was terrified for her. An emotion I wasn't familiar with, but the thought of anything happening to that amazing young woman had me shaking. As she battled Beryl, it was all I could do to not step in and try to fly off with my charge far away from any more danger. But I failed; to be honest, I started to step in, when that angel from before stopped me. She didn't say anything, but she appeared long enough for me to realize that it would be futile to try to stop what was happening. After she vanished, all I could do was pray for some kind of miracle.

What I got instead was the reappearance of that long dead princess. And maybe it's wishful thinking, but I can almost swear that she looked at me. In that simple gaze she acknowledged me and thanked me for protecting Usagi for so long. It was a bitter moment for me. So close, and yet so far away from what I really wanted... Yes, I was acknowledged, but not quite by the one that really mattered.

But the battle wasn't so easily won, even for a moon princess. Beryl merged with Metallia, and Serenity started to look like she was losing. She was driven to her knees and all hope was fading fast. Before I could break all rules and save her, I saw four silhouettes... They were the souls of her allies, guided by people I once called my friends, to help her one last time. I realized what was needed, and though it hurt, I found Endymion's spirit and guided him to the ailing princess.

As Serenity won and locked Metallia away, I watched her transformation fade, and normal, everyday schoolgirl Usagi fell to the ice in a swoon. Contrary to belief, she didn't die right away, even after that amount of energy loss to the Ginzuishou. No, instead she had a few moments to witness the spirits of her loved ones die. I was confused when she spent the final moments of her life grabbing that cursed jewel. I saw her lips move in a simple plea, but I didn't listen to the words. As her eyes shut and she collapsed, I turned away from the scene. It was finally over.

"Is it?"

The words shocked me from my grief. I remember staring at that cursed angel in shock. How I hated her for putting me through all this. "Your mission is far from over, Hiiro Yui. Did you really think such a simple task was your sole mission?" She went so far as to chuckle, even after the death of someone I cared about so much. "Don't be a fool; Usagi has far worse enemies than this to vanquish, and far more troublesome trials you'll have to guide her through. If anything, this was a test to see if you can do your job and watch over her. In her normal life, you won't allow her to come to any harm, but when it comes to being a senshi, you will do everything in your power to force her to go on if necessary. She's destined to be Queen one day."

She had the nerve to vanish after those words. Not even giving me a chance to respond. I don't believe in destiny. It seems like an excuse to avoid any blame in life. If something goes wrong, it's _destiny_. So no matter what choices Usagi made next, they were all _destiny_, and if she decided to try to run away from it, I have to force her back on the _right _path. It hurt me to even think about such matters, especially considering that I don't believe in _destiny_ for one moment. I paused to look down at her and saw a light start to sparkle. Before I could really investigate, the light grew to a blinding white and everything changed.

* * *

Of course, all of that happened quite a long time ago. Hind sight is 20/20... and if I had been more alert at the beginning, I could have stopped this whole vicious cycle. You see, Usagi is dead again now, dead from old age. She fought most of her life. First as Sailor Moon, and then as Neo Queen Serenity, and all that time I watched over her.

I watched over her when he forgot about her. When she labored long into the night to produce storyboard drawings of their relationship, the way she tried to get him to remember her via their civilian life. To me, it's another reason why he doesn't deserve her; despite her practically throwing herself at his feet, he didn't want to be more than friends. He only _loved_ her again when his memories came back to him. It might be funny, but if his memories had kept the physical form of Tsukikage, _Moonlight Knight_, I believe _he_ would have loved her unconditionally. I would have approved of him over everyone else.

I was at her side when she mourned over him breaking up with her. And what was it all over? A mere reoccurring nightmare... Because of that, Usagi started to hate herself. She hated herself for not being perfect enough for him, she hated herself for feeling jealous of a child, and she hated herself for not understanding what went wrong. And I had to sit and watch without interfering. Sit and watch as she self-destructed.

He actually managed to be good to her for awhile. That was until he allowed himself to be brainwashed again, something she never allowed to happen to her. This time it was because of a simple piece of glass in his eye. Instead of seeking Usagi's help, he allowed the evil to fester, and withdrew from Usagi's love. He even almost cost Usagi her child, Chibi-Usa, who came from the future. The girl would have vanished if Mamoru hadn't finally been broken free from the spell by Usagi's love.

I was getting frustrated with Chiba Mamoru. So imagine my fury when I learned he was leaving her to go to America to study. He left her without much advance notice and something of a promise ring, though he didn't really speak the words. Was it any wonder that I was somewhat cheering for the new man that stumbled into her life? He was someone that learned to care about her, someone willing to sacrifice everything he knew to be by her side and love her with all his might. I can admit now that my mission is over that I even gave her dreams about him. She forgot them in the morning of course, but I made sure she wasn't haunted by the fact that Mamoru had fallen out of touch. I knew he was dead, and I didn't want her to even consider the possibility. Partly for my mission, true-- if she realized what had happened, it would tear her apart-- but also for my own sake. I wanted her to be happy, and if I couldn't be with her, I wanted someone I approved of to be. Once again, she was driven into battle for her loved ones, and this time all she used to win was her open arms. How could anyone not love someone so pure and selfless?

It seemed to slow down after that battle. She managed to live a carefree life for awhile, until the world started to freeze. It was as at that time that she became Neo Queen Serenity and founded Crystal Tokyo. It's a wonder that the girl who had curled into a ball and wished for death so vehemently, then felt guilty for doing so, was such a good ruler. She made a mistake with Nemesis. She made a mistake in some of her decrees; sending others away because they don't believe as you do isn't right in any way. In fact, that decision brought to mind a battle I myself fought against some of those same principles. But she did what she thought best for her people, and despite a few problems, she had a peaceful rule for many years.

Did she have more problems than that? Of course she did... And as her time grew short, and she was locked in that deep sleep, I slipped into her dreams. It's funny, but I couldn't bring myself to talk to her in them. I felt it would be violating some code I had made with her. Besides, though I knew every side of her, she didn't know the first thing about me. That's why I let her experience some of the memories I recalled. It was meaningless in the regards that when she woke up she remembered nothing, but it helped me. It was like the barest touch of something I desired more than anything, and it would have to be enough to sate me for eternity. Of course, it wasn't quite that, I wanted more. I wanted to be the one that held her hand as time ravaged her. I wanted to be the one at her side as she slipped away... And as her spirit broke free, I was released from my bond.

That's right; I'm free to go to Heaven if I wish... And I did so. What I found chilled my blood. The woman I had kept such close watch over wasn't allowed eternal rest. You see, I thought I would be able to find her in Heaven, manage to thank her for making me happy, but she wasn't in Heaven. I must have been a bit of a spy as well as a soldier in that former life of mine; I found the files on her while those in charge were distracted by four other angels. She and the rest of her friends were going to be reborn again. They were going to relive every instant of their lives over again. I couldn't understand why they were fated to such a destiny.

I've confronted those in charge on it, and they've presented me with a choice... They find it funny that I care so deeply about her and have offered me this chance... or rather, this game. If I play this game and stick to their rules, I can win her freedom, and I can win everybody's freedom. But in order to do so, a part of me needed to be reborn... And that, Hiiro, is why I've contacted you in this dream on your fourteenth birthday. You are me, and we only have once chance to save Usagi from this fate. I'm not going to force you to do it... I don't believe in destiny, and if you don't want to help me there's nothing I can do. I ask for your help; I beg for it, because all I want is for her to be free no matter whom she is with. But the decision is yours; will you choose to save her from her fate, or will you live your own life? Please, Hiiro, choose now.


End file.
